That said, it’s not a bad story–you could rewrite it by filling it out. The language was average (please never ever say ‘love tunnel’ again), the structure was OK, the plot left a little to be desired. Pornhub I’m sure you can think up some great stuff. … Work on characterization, plot development and descriptive language. I suggest you return to the basics of storytelling. I’m sure you can think up some great stuff. … Better yet, devote more time to your next story. That said, it’s not a bad story–you could rewrite it by filling it out. How in the world could anybodsy say this was a good story???READERReport 2005-09-25 23:01:45Good, hot and fast. 6 comments«12»READERReport 2005-10-15 17:28:10Hey, hope you write more, you still have five days to cover. …
