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However, a little more build up to the actual rape would be good. One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. Pornhub I agree with the line break, especially if your next story is longer, it will make it easier to read.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-12 04:49:44it was good. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» Thank you.Anonymous readerReport 2009-05-03 17:40:27Very good…made me cum. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» 7 comments«12»READERReport 2009-10-14 10:20:44not bad for a first…shorten the paragraghs..easier to read that way, and please, a little more character development and backgroundAnonymous readerReport 2009-08-25 17:03:32Good story.